Opaque Lucidity

Air America

I keep on breaking my own rule about not posting entire articles here, but this one is, well, note-worthy (from the NY Times {see if you can catch Ms. Garofalo's quote on the air and then her quote about liberals in general and tell me she's NOT a hypocrite}):

"Liberal Voices Get New Home on Radio Dial
By JACQUES STEINBERG
Lady Olivia was on the phone from Washington.

And Sam Seder, a nighttime host on Air America Radio, the fledgling liberal talk-radio network, had a question about the clientele of his guest, who identified herself as a dominatrix.

"More Republicans or more Democrats?" Mr. Seder asked.

"Seventy-30," Lady Olivia said.

Mr. Seder's broad grin suggested that that was precisely the answer he had hoped for. Sitting in a windowless studio 41 floors above Midtown Manhattan during a rehearsal on Thursday for the program, "The Majority Report," he shuffled through a sheaf of testimonials downloaded from Lady Olivia's Web site, operated under a different name. He soon inquired about the identities of those Republicans, displaying a particular interest in learning more about "Jon from Washington," who had written, "I enjoyed the corporal punishment more than I thought I would."

"Does his last name," Mr. Seder asked, "rhyme with Chriscroft?"

The exchange yielded no information about the attorney general of the United States. (Lady Olivia's response was little more than a coy laugh.) But it did provide some clues to how Air America, which makes its debut at noon today on five stations with Al Franken, the comedian and political satirist, at the microphone, intends to challenge the hegemony of conservatives on commercial talk radio.

"It needs to be entertaining, it needs to be compelling, it needs to be laugh-out-loud funny," said Jon Sinton, a veteran of radio who is a founder of Air America, a subsidiary of Progress Media. "It needs to foster water-cooler conversation. You need people to go to work and say, `Did you hear what Franken said yesterday?' "

"When people begin to say that," he added, "we will have arrived."

Beyond the satiric, sometimes sophomoric humor displayed during the dress rehearsal for "The Majority Report," which Mr. Seder shares with the comedian Janeane Garofalo, Air America plans to offer a mixture of issue-oriented interviews (with conservatives, as well as liberals), commentary, listener phone calls and news reports, delivered straight, at regular intervals.

But this liberal radio network faces numerous obstacles in capturing a substantial audience, in particular finding a critical mass of stations that will broadcast its voices. The network has already fallen behind in its initial goal, announced last year, of owning five stations by the time it went on the air. As of today it owns none.

Instead Air America has bought programming time on stations with moderately strong signals, but previously low ratings: WLIB-AM in New York, WNTD-AM in Chicago, KBLA-AM in Los Angeles, KCAA-AM in Riverside and San Bernadino, Calif., and KPOJ-AM in Portland, Ore. A San Francisco station is expected to be announced in early April.

By contrast Rush Limbaugh, whom Air America has identified as a chief competitor, is heard on more than 600 stations, including WABC in New York. Sean Hannity, another conservative talk-show host, has a similar reach.

Air America, which has raised more than $20 million, has grand plans for buying stations, or at least all of the broadcast time on stations, in more than a dozen cities by year's end. Many are in Ohio, Florida and other states considered battlegrounds in the presidential election. But since the media ownership rules were eased in the mid-1990's, much of the broadcast spectrum is owned by a handful of companies. Few stations are for sale, and few station owners will give over all of their broadcast day to untested programming.

Then there is the question in radio and conservative circles whether liberals can be entertaining enough for talk radio.

"Sometimes they just sound so grim," said Neal Boortz, a libertarian whose Atlanta-based program is syndicated to more than 180 stations. "My god, the foreboding."

Mr. Sinton said Air America needed to be wary of that tendency.

"The problem with really wonkish policy discussion is that it does not attract or hold a mass audience," he said.

As a result the network's 17-hour weekday lineup has as much if not more in common with "Saturday Night Live" than with National Public Radio. For example, its midmorning show, which begins tomorrow at 9, will have as its hosts Lizz Winstead, a comedian and a creator of "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central, and Chuck D, the frontman for the rap group Public Enemy.

They will be followed at noon by Mr. Franken, the "Saturday Night Live" alumnus who has evolved into a satirist, and whose co-host is Katherine Lanpher from Minnesota Public Radio. Martin Kaplan, a communications professor at the University of Southern California, will be the host of a one-hour show about the news media in the early evening.

He will be followed, from 8 to 11 p.m., by Ms. Garofalo, whose main experience in radio was playing the role of a talk-show host for pet owners in the 1996 film "The Truth About Cats and Dogs," and by Mr. Seder, who has worked as a comedian, screenwriter and filmmaker.

There were times on Thursday during the three-hour run-through, which was recorded with the expectation of using portions of it on actual shows, that Ms. Garofalo, 39, and Mr. Seder, 37, sounded — surprisingly — not unlike their right-leaning competition.

In an interview with Craig Crawford, a columnist for Congressional Quarterly, the two hosts spent several minutes clobbering the news media, a favorite target of Mr. Limbaugh and Mr. Hannity.

"It seems the journalists have really put themselves in the center of the story in a partisan political way," Ms. Garofalo said, speaking of what she called a new form of participatory journalism. Moments later Mr. Seder observed, "Really, most reporters are whores."

And yet the content of most of the program sounded nothing like the fare provided by Mr. Limbaugh and Mr. Hannity. Those two popular hosts can usually be counted on to defend President Bush — Mr. Hannity's Web site declares that he is "fed up with all the Bush-bashing" — and whose favorite punching bags include the president's presumed Democratic rival, Senator John Kerry. ("Kerry injured changing positions," Mr. Limbaugh's Web site declared.)

Among others, Ms. Garofalo and Mr. Seder poked fun at Mr. Bush's former spokesman Ari Fleischer ("Is he not shoveling coal in hell now?" Mr. Seder asked); Karl Rove, the president's senior adviser and political strategist (said by Ms. Garofalo to be pursuing "the elusive 18-25 Klan demo"); and Vice President Dick Cheney. (Mr. Seder said he felt sure that he could see Mr. Cheney's hand moving Mr. Bush's mouth on "Meet the Press" earlier this year.)

Ms. Garofalo said that "The Majority Report," its name inspired by a reference to Al Gore's presidential victory in the popular vote in the 2000 election, would also feature substantive interviews. Among the invited guests, she said, are Ben Cohen (the activist founder of Ben & Jerry's ice cream), Dr. Joyce Riley (an advocate of Persian Gulf war veterans) and Howard Dean. (Ms. Garofalo was in the audience on the night of the Iowa caucus, before he gave what she described as his "so-called `I have a scream' speech.")

"It's not like we're here to say we're going to be as nasty as right-wingers," Ms. Garofalo said in an interview. "On the left, traditionally, you've got a nicer type of person. You've got a person who is more willing to engage in conversations that have context and nuance, who tend to have more educable minds."

Whether all of these elements can be brought together to make great radio remains an open question. Kipper McGee, the program director of WDBO-AM (580) in Orlando, Fla., which is owned by Cox Communications and carries Mr. Hannity's syndicated program, said that Air America could count on listeners from all bands of the political spectrum, at least early on.

"The old adage, `Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,' sometimes it's true with the remote control or the radio tuner," said Mr. McGee, who has worked in radio for three decades. "In the final analysis, though, whether they survive depends on how good the shows are."

The Death of the Debate

I "unsubscribed" myself from an ongoing e-mail thread last night. It was the usual left\right kind of thing, but I found myself making some pretty personal attacks after my main antagonist remarked that I reminded her of her 8-year old son (damn that kid's smart!!! ;-). I try not to say anything in an e-mail that I wouldn't say in person (with some noteable exceptions), so I thought it best that I opt out of the discussion.

The discussion reminded me of something that I think about when I argue with people about something: debate is dead in our society. Don't get me wrong; there's still plenty of arguing going on, but real debating had gone down the tubes. We can point to any number of reasons: no classes in reasoning or logic in our schools, no debating teams (or a lack of participation in them), no real grasp of history by young people (want to learn how to debate? Read the Federalist Papers). Whatever the reasons, I believe we are poorer for our loss.

Here's an example of that to which I refer. In an ideal society, a debate about Presidential candidates would go something like this:

P1: "I believe G.W. Bush is the better candidate because he believes in swift military action against terrorists and the regimes that sponsor them. He believes in lower taxes"

P2: "I believe J.F. Kerry is the better candidate because he believes in lowering taxes for the working class and fostering internation coalitions to fight the the war on terror."

The two would then go point by point to the issues: gun control, abortion, social security, national security, gay marriage, etc. Instead we get something like this:

P1: "I believe that G.W. Bush is the better candidate because..."

P2: "Halliburton! War over oil! AWOL! Daddy's boy! Cocaine! Tax break for the wealthy! Stupid!"

This may seem like an exaggeration, but you get my point. I could easily reverse the roles, making the argument about something like gay marriage. Then, every fundamentalist on the planet starts quoting the Bible as if we are a society of clerics instead of a functioning democracy.

When I was younger, I never tired of arguing with people. But as I grow older, I realize that most people my age and older have formed their opinions on most things, especially politics; in fact, anyone who describes themselves as "undecided" a month before a presidential election shouldn't be allowed to vote. Arguing does nothing to change anyone's mind, but rather adds emotion to the mix. I, for one, am better off without it.

Countdown to the Big D

I'm burning music CDs as I write this. You might not think this is a big deal, and normally you'd be right. But this music is different, for it will be packed away in my suitcase and taken to Dallas for Race Day. This has become such a tradition for me that it's almost a religious rite.

I'm really mixing it up this year. First, there are the two CDs that Pete requested. He mails me a list every year, and I do my best to find what he wants. I'm kind of sucking this year because, to be honest, downloading music isn't what it used to be. So I'm making a sort of dance mix and another disc of music that way popular in the clubs when I lived in Dallas (1995-1996).

I love to tortue myself with this stuff. The music was the background for all of our lives then, and listening to it takes me back to a world that will never exist for any of us ever again. But I can't stay away from it because it helped make me the person I am today. And, despite my frailties, I like who I've become.

Eternal Sunshine

Kelli and I went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last night. I had been looking forward to seeing the film because the concept seemed original. However, to quote Kelli, it made a better concept than it did a film. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't very enjoyable, either. The second act was far too long. I believe they had about 60 minutes of story and stretched it into two hours.

The movie illustrates one of my problems with film critics. The reviewer for the Louisville Courier-Journal gave it a very good rating; this added to my anticipation even though I should know better than to rely on one critic's opinion. This has happened to us time and time again with movies, so much so that I am beginning to think that most critics have lost touch with what mainstream audiences like.

I know that film, to some degree, is art. But movies also exist to entertain and make money. No matter what you think about American cinema at the dawn of the 21st century, you have to admit that we know what we like: the good guys win, T&A never hurt anyone and we like to see things explode. I know it's formula stuff, but it's our formula. I get the vibe that some movie reviewers (I know one personally) imagine themselves much more cultured than the audience. This is common in media, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

After a movie experience like the one we had last night, I always ask myself what I would do differently if I had written the screenplay or directed the film. In this case, the film wouldn't have been made because there just wasn't enough story. However, there are always things that attract me to a film:

1. Action. I don't mean car chases or battles necessarily (although those are nice), but I don't like long, uncomfortable sets of dialogue. This is supposed to be a no-no in filmmaking, but it's happening more and more.

2. Intelligence. Don't treat me like I'm stupid. I can handle subtlety and nuance. A good example of this is The Age of Innocence, which was an Edith Wharton novel. If you're a guy, you need to watch it twice.

3. A Good Ending. The ending doesn't have to be happy, but it needs to leave me with some sense of satisfaction. Take some time to tie up the loose ends.

4. Likeable Characters. This seems like a given, but take the move The Unforgiven. I didn't give a rat's ass about anyone in that movie. In my favorite movies, even the bad guys have some sort of redeeming quality (except Lord of the Rings, but Sauron was pure evil, so he gets a pass, IMHO).

Ghost Town

I ran across this interesting site linked at slashdot. It's the personal website of a Russian or Ukrainian (she does not specify) woman who is an avid cyclist. The entire site is a photographic journal of her trip through the abandoned region surrounding the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. If you're easily depressed, you may want to skip the site entirely.

The Chernobyl complex contained more than one reactor (I believe it had eight) and I was of the understanding that the surviving units were kept in operation for a while, perhaps a decade, after the accident. However, all the towns surrounding the complex were evacuated in 1986 and no one has been allowed to move back. It is doubtful they ever will. The evacuation was sudden, because there are pictures of personal effects strewn around apartments that have been lying there for the better part of two decades. One of the towns was home to 50,000 people; all that remains there now is a town guard. Evidently, there was a Russian tour company that was offering tours to the less radioactive areas of the town. According to the town guard, the silence in the town made many people feel uneasy and want to leave early.

When I was going through Nuclear Power School in 1990-91, the accident at Chernobyl was still a hot topic of conversation in nuclear power circles. The Soviet Union was still in existence then, so much of the information we had about the incident came from "confidential" sources. This was the first time since Hiroshima and Nagasaki that so many people had been exposed to so much radiation in such a short period of time. Many helicopter pilots who dropped boron on the site died almost immediately from radiation sickness. Their helicopters are still in a nearby field; their metal skins were irradiated so much that they can never be flown again. Many firefighters suffered the same fate.

We will never know how many people died directly or indirectly from the accident at Chernobyl. Some put the number as high as 300,000, although we don't know for sure how many people lived in the area before the accident. The thing that frightens me is that there are identical reactor designs still at work in Russia and the Ukraine. Are they better maintained now than they were 20 years ago?

A Match Made In...

Possible captions:

"Mommy, why did you dress us alike?" or
"Damn you've got good hair, John!" or
"Yeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhoooohhhhh!!!!!!!!" or
"How can we screw 'em today?"

And Five Years Later...

Today in 1999, the NATO bombing campaign against Yugoslavia began. It would last nearly 90 days. I bring this up because, soon after the bombing stop, NATO sent peace-keeping troops to the area. Bill Clinton said that the American component would be there six months. We still have troops there today.

Now, with the first anniversary of the beginning of the war in Iraq come and gone, we hear typical liberal whining about a quagmire there. John Kerry (did you know he served in Vietnam?) is talking about mismanagement while Teddy "Bridge Jumper" Kennedy is even lowering himself enough to come on conservative talk radio shows and talk about the President's failings overseas.

I have one question: since Harry Truman authorized the dropping of atomic bombs on Japan, has any Democrat actually ended a war or avoided a quagmire? Let's take a look:

1. Truman was in the White House when the Korean War started. Almost as many Americans died in Korea in three years as died in Vietnam in 16. Truman fired MacArthur over the general's desire to bomb strategic positions in China, a move that would've ended the war decisively and ensured that Korea did not become the divided peninsula it is today. Truman's advisors thought the idea insane; how crazy is it now?

2. While Eisenhower was the man who first sent advisors to Vietnam, it was Kennedy who significantly stepped up their role and their numbers beginning in 1961. By his death in 1963, there were over 10,000 "advisors" there who were actually going on combat patrols with South Vietnamese regulars.

3. Johnson took the Gulf of Tonkin incident (there is some evidence that it may never have taken place) and turned it into a full-fledged war. Early bombing targets were hand-picked by the White House since Soviet and Chinese freighters regularly docked in Haiphong and Soviet technicians were helping the North Vietnamese build their anti-aircraft defenses. The war required larger and larger numbers of troops, and the casualties started to mount. Johnson did not seek re-election in 1968, mainly due to the anti-war movement. It took Richard Nixon to begin the "Vietnamization" of the war and to play hardball with Hanoi by, once again, beginning to bomb targets in North Vietnam.

4. Enter Billy Bob Clinton. Clinton did not get this nation involved in any foreign entanglements which, on the surface, may seem like an incredible achievement. However, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright's testimony before the 9/11 commission yesterday was telling, and not in a good way. According to her, Clinton did not want to take action against Al-Qaeda or the Taliban (their hosts) in Afghanistan because they didn't feel like there was enough public support for that action. Huh? You mean that foreign policy decisions were based on polling data? Wow. That must've been one confused bunch of leftists.

So what have learned today? Two things: Democrats get us involved in wars for which there is not easy extraction or suffer from an inability to act. Either way, Americans pay.

Paper and Fire

My dad is fond of saying that time goes by no matter what you do. It's something that I'm pretty fond of saying myself now, but it's not something that I take to heart very often. My life is full of half-finished things that could've made my life better. Time went by.

We received news last night that my brother-in-law (my wife's brother) and his wife are expecting their first child. This will be my in-law's first grandchild, and I'm sure the fatted calf will be slain. I'm happy for them, although time has shown me that most first-time parents have no idea that their life and their relationship is going to change fundamentally. The idea of parenthood has always scared me, but I remember my oldest brother telling me one time that this is a good thing; he would've been worried if I wasn't scared.

As with many things, this announcement makes me think of my (and Kelli's) own journey through life. She will graduate from college in May, a great accomplishment to be sure. But our lives are not that different than the day we got married: we live in the same house, have no children, etc. Sometimes, I look at this and think that it is this sameness that makes us stable. Boring, perhaps, but stable.

But I cannot escape the feeling that I am supposed to be doing something I'm not. There is some goal, some end that I am supposed to striving for. It is not here, at this job; somehow, this feels like a bus station on the way to the airport. I'm not saying that I am being called to do something great, for that is almost delusional and I don't believe that most great people in history set out to be great; they just had passion. I seem to have passion for nothing now, and I have to say that it worries me a little.

An Open Letter to Jimmy Carter

Mr. President,
I hope this letter finds you well. You have been very active in your criticism of the Bush administration and its handling of the war on terror and, more specifically, the war in Iraq. Your latest also include an attack on Prime Minister Tony Blair.

I hope that we are not to infer from your comments that you could have done a better job. After all, wasn't it your administration that allowed 52 Americans to be held in Iran for 444 days while you paced away in the Oval Office? Wasn't it on your watch that six American servicemen died during a poorly planned rescue attempt (a plan that was lobbied against by your Special Forces rep on the Joint Chiefs of Staff)? Were you not in the White House when the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan? As I recall, your limp-wristed response was to boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow. That showed 'em.

Mr. President, the party of FDR and JFK has changed a lot since you were in office. It's now run by liberal apologists who see terror as a law enforcement problem and not an act of war. You may agree with these sentiments; thank God you no longer have an authority.

The Snowboard King

John Kerry is at it again, this time referring to a Secret Service agent as a "son of a bitch". Well, well, Senator, let's see here: U.S. Senator publicly profanes someone sworn to defend him PERSONALLY.....I think that moves you from elitist jerk to worthless piece of shit.

Hillary Clinton, call your office.

The Man Who Knew Too Much

When I was a Senior in high school, I found out something about an ex-girlfriend that really threw me for a loop. What made things worse was the fact that I had dug and dug and dug for the information and then got upset when I discovered that what I had suspected was actually true. The lesson I took away from the experience was that, sometimes, it's better to be left in the dark on some things in life.

Yesterday, I found out something about the company I work for that really upset me. In the big scheme of things it's trivial, but it means a great deal in terms of figuring out the character of the men who own this place. I have always believed that a man's character is made up of not what he does in a crisis or when the chips are down (although those times are important), but how he treats people every day, especially when the tide is rolling his way.

I did not go digging for this information; rather it was brought up in conversation because the person to whom I was speaking assumed I already knew. I was steamed all afternoon and into the evening, but at least I felt good about the fact that I didn't ask for it as I would've earlier in my life. It's thin consolation, but I need some of that right now.

In me, not so very deep down, is this urge to belong to something that is good and upstanding. That's probably one of the reasons I joined the Navy. Even when times were bad, I knew that what I did was important for national security, mom and apple pie. Now, in this place, I question that goodness. It's not that anything illegal is going on; in fact, this is probably the most law-abiding company I have ever worked for. This dirtiness is personal, which makes it hurt a little more. I now know that these men with whom I have spoken, had dinner, laughed with and, in one case, been a guest in his home, are not that different from the guys who run companies like Enron into the ground for their own enrichment while the workforce wonders how they are going to afford retirement. If I told you what the information I learned was, you might question how I can make such a leap. However, I believe that things like the Enron scandal start with personal, inconsiderate elitism and scale up from there.

And now, I will do nothing. As the saying goes, this too shall pass. But now I believe a little less in this thing, which makes me care a little less, which makes me work not quite as hard as I did the day before yesterday. One of my closeset friends told me one time that I would never have a long-term job because I get too bored doing one thing. He's right, but not for the right reason. Obviously, I'm not going to leave my job over this, but one dirty little secret will undoubtedly be followed by others. The honeymoon phase is over.

'He wanted to care, and he could not care. For he had gone away and he could never go back any more. The gates were closed, the sun was gone down, and there was no beauty but the gray beauty of steel that withstands all time. Even the grief he could have borne was left behind in the country of illusion, of youth, of the richness of life, where his winter dreams had flourished.

"Long ago," he said, "long ago, there was something in me, but now that thing is gone. Now that thing is gone, that thing is gone. I cannot cry. I cannot care. That thing will come back no more." '

Tense

I've been a little grumpy lately and, until this morning, I had no idea why. I have been working days for a month now; that's plenty of time to get used to the idea of getting up at 5:30AM. But I think it has nothing to do with time, but rather the time of the place.

Since July of 2000, I have worked almost completely alone. I say "almost" because when I first started working here I came to work at 4:30PM, a time that was early enough to actually see other people in the building. By 6PM, however, I was almost always alone. In the spring of 2002, I went to nights, which meant that the only person I saw on a regular basis was the man who is now my manager (he stayed late on Wednesday nights to reboot the Windows servers).

When you work alone for a long enough period of time, you forget how to be ON. You're ON when you're in any social situation, unless you're weird or rude or just don't care. ON means you try to watch what you say, you don't pick your nose, you shower before leaving the house, etc. For all intents and purposes, I haven't had to be ON for a long, long time. Now, as an IT guy who helps out with PC support (even though this is not what I do most of the time), I'm ON all day, five days a week. Most likely, you are too; I just haven't gotten used to it yet.

People talk about needing to unwind after work. Until a month ago, I was as unwound at work as I was anywhere else. Now, I don't know how to unwind. Home was where all the "serious" work took place but now those things annoy me. To top it all off, my wife's work and school schedule puts her home no earlier than 7:45 every night. Since I try to be in bed by 10, that doesn't leave much social life for the two of us.

I know that I am not the first person who has made this transition. One of my uncles worked at night for 15 years. But he always worked with other people, so I guess the transition back to the living wasn't as tough. One of my friends used to work nights one or two weeks a month and then work days the rest of the time. I guess I have very little room to complain.

Porsche

The first Porsche was shown off at the Geneva International Auto Show today in 1949. Ferdinand Porsche, the man behind the name, had served two years in prison after the Second World War for helping the German war machine (he was the guy who designed the Volkswagen at Hitler's request). Along with his son Ferry, they introduced the 356, which was sort of a sports car version of the Volkswagen. It was rear-engined, a trait that would continue to be a hallmark of Porsches.

The Indian Connection

The company I work for exported about a dozen jobs to India in 2002. I knew about it soon after it happened because the department I work in worked closely with some of the people involved. The jobs were considered to be entry-level---data entry and the like. Now, the miracle of the Internet has allowed that data to be keyed in half a planet away and sent here in a nice, neat package. I guess it's working out well; that is, except for the 12 or so people who no longer have jobs here.

We had a little heated debate yesterday about moving jobs overseas. My manager is pretty pragmatic about it, and his argument makes sense. He believes that this marks a progressive change in our society, the same way unionization marked a changed in the early part of the 20th century. This change means, according to him, that we are moving on to the next level, although he didn't know what "the next level" will be.

The only female member of our four-person department feels differently. To her, people are out of work and it doesn't matter what the long-term ramifications are. Regardless of how entry-level the jobs may be, she said, there are people who will take them. The fact is, this move was made so that the owners could make more money.

I guess I come down somewhere in the middle, but for different reasons. First, I have serious moral qualms about moving jobs to a country that is, in terms of human and labor rights, about a century behind the United States when taken as a whole. If you ever want to see the dirty side of India, do a Google search for Shipbreaking and India and see what turns up. Get some Kleenex before you start. I know that there is an emerging middle-class in India and that, eventually, there will be unionization (I don't like unions in nations like the US; however, we would not be the nation we are today had they never existed) and a national equivalent of OSHA. But when? 20 years? 50? And do the companies shipping jobs over there really want that? I mean, after all, it means higher labor costs.

There is also a corporate responsibility angle to be considered here. I believe that companies have an obligation to be good citizens of the locales in which they have a presence. That means being honest about pollution, waste, etc., but it also means giving back in terms of employment. I am not a socialist; in fact, I probably fall to the right of most of you reading this. Companies should not employ people just to be giving away jobs. However, is it morally acceptable to send a few jobs overseas so that a small group of owners who are already millionaires can make a few extra thousand a year?

My manager said that all business decisions are made based upon money. This is true, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. All my life I have heard people say things like, "That's business", as if that justifies any move you want to make, regardless of how selfish it may be. It has sort of a facist ring to it, sort of like saying, "I was just following orders." It has its roots in the sickness of greed, and greed is going to destroy us all.

Speedy Thoughts

Do you remember the movie "Speed"? When Kelli and I saw it, I remember wondering whether or not the people on that bus would keep in touch after the ordeal they endured together. Some of them would probably never ride a bus again; some of them got on the replacement bus the next morning.

Of course, that's Hollywood. But something much more real happened in Madrid last week, and it has me thinking the same thought. Rail transportation in Europe is much more pervasive than it is here, so it's quite possible that many of the people on those trains last Thursday morning knew each other. And now, with this horror in common, I have to wonder how many life-long friendships will be formed. It's a shame that it takes something like this to form real, permanent friendships, but that is human nature.

It's funny, but the people who I am closest to are the people who have either seen me at my worst are have been through those bad times with me.

In the Bank

If I could produce steam and make it come out of my ears, I would look like a calliope right now. I went by the ATM this morning on my way to work only to find that our account was overdrawn. I raced to work, logged on to the bank's website and, lo and behold, there was an enormous charge that neither I nor Kelli had authorized. I called the bank (thank goodness for 24-hour customer service) and tried to have the transaction stopped. They were able to do this, but, if the transaction is resubmitted, I will have to dispute it. If you have ever had to dispute a charge, you know what a pain in the ass it is. I cancelled my debit card and had them send a new one to me.

You might think that I would be angry at the dirtbag who tried to charge something on my card. I am, but I realize that this is the way of the world these days; I have bought things online since 1997 or so and this is the first problem I have ever had. What angers me is how the bank handles issues like this. The second lady I talked to (who I was obviously bothering during her assigned break time) told me that, if there were any overdraft fees associated with the charge, I would be responsible for them. After all, she said (and I'm not making this up) "we didn't give out your card number". Really? Gee, thanks for that, bitch! She went on to tell me that, you know, this happens when you buy stuff online. Wait....no shit? So, I shouldn't be on the web, I suppose. It's only 2004, after all.

When things like this happen, I always put myself in the shoes of the guy running the company I'm dealing with. If I ran my bank, I would look at it this way: people are going to buy things online. Sometimes, people are going to try to cheat them. Let's not pile on overdraft fees (even though they mean tasty profits for us) if these people can prove that the charges are fraudulant. It helps our customers out and maybe, just maybe, they'll be more likely to stay with us.

Maybe it's just me.

Peace in our Time

American liberals who are embarrassed to say they live here are fond of saying that America has no culture. You can take this two ways: a) we have no original culture like France has cheese and Italy has opera or b) our culture-at-large is mostly European in origin, thus it is not unique to us. Therefore, we have no culture.

One only has to look at the recent elections in Spain to see how wrong this presumption is. Two days after their nation suffered a horrendous terrorist attack, Spanish voters threw out their center-right prime minister and installed an avowed socialist. This was suprising to me until I remembered that I was looking at the situation from the perspective of an American. Had there been elections here on Sept. 13, 2001, George W. Bush would've been re-elected in the largest landslide in American history. Spain, however, has chosen to throw out the guy whom the terrorists don't like in the hopes that the pain will go away.

Of course, this is nothing new to Europe. Britain and France all but ignored Nazi Germany and Facist Italy until the tanks of the Wermarcht began rolling across the continent. Neville Chamberlin, the man who preceded Winston Churchill, met with Hitler on the eve of the Second World War, declared him a gentleman and said, "This is a man I can work with." Then, with the black days of war upon them, the British people turned to Winston Churchill, a well-known hawk who mobilized the nation for war. Once the war was over and Churchill began warning about the very real Soviet menace, he was tossed out on his head.

I have to say that I am suprised about Spain. Democracy is new in Spain; a generation ago, the nation was run by a dictator. One would think (here's my Americanism showing through again) that the memory of that would still loom large in the national consciousness; I guess having France next door has begun to rub off. I fully expect Spain to pull their peacekeeping force out of Iraq in a few months.

More on this later.

Spring?

According to one of our local weatherman, this morning's temperature (25 F) is the coldest we will see until fall. Ready or not, spring is on the way.

Those of us who live in areas that experience four seasons spend a lot of time grumbling about the weather. Right now, we are (most of us at least) looking forward to warm days of sun and green grass. But come August, we will be praying for snow. Weather is almost a microcosm of the human condition: no matter what we have, we always end up wanting something else.

The Telephone is Ringing...is that My Mother on the Phone?

This entry is not about my mother; the line above is from an old Police album (I guess they're all old now).

I hate telephones. I have not come to this decision lightly; rather, it has taken years of abuse for me to reach this conclusion. It's not fair to the phone, as my real problem is with the people who use them. Phones don't irritate people; people irritate people.

As a young man, my parents always stressed proper phone etiquette. One of their by-laws was that, except in an emergency, no one should be called at home after 9PM. As an adult, I realize that there are exceptions to this rule. I have friends who have a 24-hour call "pass"; they don't abuse it, and I know that a call in the middle of the night from them is important even if it's not an emergency.

Maybe I am just overly sensitive to this, but it seems to get worse with age. I guess I value my "home" time more than I did before because I have less of it. And with my wife in school, we get about two hours a day together. I do not want to spend that time solving computer problems or listening to your latest family problem or whatever. If I had my way, I wouldn't have a home phone at all; we could rely on our cell phones and only give the numbers to people we really wanted to talk to.

One final thing: how do the people who spend all night on the phone get anything done? Don't they have dinners to cook, laundry to do and houses to clean? Even with just my wife and I, this takes up a significant portion of our free time. I guess they let these things slide, something which is unacceptable to me. I think I may be becoming a grumpy old man.

The Sanctity of Morning

I am still getting used to a 5:30AM wake up, but today was better than yesterday, so I know that I'm making progress. In my perfect world, we would all be woken up by the sun bursting over the horizon, through our windows and into our eyes. Yeah; as if. My introduction to the day, probably like yours, is a rude alarm clock and total darkness.

But there is a beauty in the first rays of daylight and I am, once again, beginning to appreciate them. When I first get up, the moon still dominates the sky. It was waning this morning (I think), but it was still bright and crisp in the late winter sky. Then, once I get dressed and ready to leave, the horizon is starting to lighten. I like this time better than watching a sunrise---it's more subdued and friendly. Seeing the sun is a sign that I'm late, so I guess I dread it a little (like a vampire?).

I enjoy mornings and evenings now more than I did when I was younger. I guess I notice the passage of time more now, and I realize that we only have so many sunrises and sunsets to enjoy. Let's not waste any of them.

Hobo Power Revisited

If you're a long-time reader of my little corner of cyberspace, you know that I used to be a regular listener to Loveline (my work schedule now only allows me to catch it as I go to sleep; sometimes I don't get past the introductions). Anyway, a caller introduced the idea of inventing a measurement for stench, called (later?) Hobo Power. I thought the idea was original and funny, so I wrote about it here some months back.

Lo and behold, I received an e-mail from the caller himself about a week ago. We have exchanged a couple e-mails since then and I am convinced it's the real guy (I won't give his name in order to protect his privacy; he does have a comment posted on this site). I am blown away by how well this whole interweb thingy works: a guy calls a national radio show (from England, no less) gets on, starts a concept. Another guy 5000 miles away writes about it. Caller guy does an search to see how the concept has caught on and, lo and behold, finds my weblog. Neat.

Acceptable Bigotry

I am not a good Catholic. I don't go to Mass often anymore for reasons I will not delve into here. But I was raised Catholic, received all my Sacraments on time (except for Holy Orders and Last Rites...I'll never receive the first and I'd like to wait a while for the second), went through 12 years of Catholic school and married a lifelong Catholic whose parents both work for local parishes. So while I may not be a saint, I can say with all honesty that Catholicism is as much a part of me as my American citizenship or the fact that I am married. It is lodged in my soul.

So it is with some pain that I hear people spew anti-Catholic sentiment. With the recent molestation embarrasment still going on, us Catholics have gotten used to hearing our Church villified in the press and among idiot strangers who should've been left on an iceberg as children. But what I will never, ever get used to is hearing such bigotry from people I know who know that I am Catholic. I mention this because something happened yesterday which left me feeling as if I had been punched.

There is a member of our little radio show team who is, on some level at least, a personal friend of our beloved little host. He reviews movies in his spare time; the rest of his time is spent showing up late for meetings, lunches, etc. I believe he does this on purpose for effect---the impression it leaves me with is one of sloth and laziness. I have known for a long time that he possesses a certain anti-Catholic bias, but I generally ignore his rantings for two reasons: one, I don't want to lower myself to his level and two, in making my point I would have to lay him open as a theological dumbass. I may not be a genius, but I know Canon Law, Catholic Apologetics and the Bible. Bring it on.

So yesterday, during a break in the show, the subject of "The Passion" came up. My jaunty little buddy said that he gave it "three stars" (whatever) and that he would've rated it higher except that it contained biblical inaccuracies which came from "something some Catholic nuns wrote in the 19th century." He then turned to me and said, "Matt, you're Catholic, aren't you?" I responded, "Yes, I am." He then stopped in mid-sentence, as if he had more to add.

I was a little shocked by this. It's the equivalent of turning to a room full of people and saying, "Is anyone in here black? No? Good. So three black guys walk into a bar...". Before you think it, understand this: I know that he didn't say anything offensive. However, the only thing that stopped him was my presence AND the knowledge that I would tear into him if he did say anything. In other words, bigoted comments about Catholics are OK to him as long as no Catholics are there. OK.

So here's how this will play out, and you may think this is vindictive and small. Next week, when he shows up at the radio show (late), I will find a way to bring up the film again. My hope is that he will forget my Catholicism for a moment and let something slip. I will then ask him, in front of everyone, if he would say something so bigoted if I were Jewish. Or Muslim. The answer? Of course he wouldn't; it's not politically-correct to pick on these two protected faiths. It is, however, hunting season on Catholics.

My New Cuticles

I had a manicure today. You guys out there who are insecure in your manhood can go ahead and laugh; I have no doubts that I'm all man. It was relaxing and, suprise! my fingernails actually look nice for the first time in 25 years. I have agreed to do this once a month or so, so we'll see how it goes. The manicurist was trying to talk me into a pedicure, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that step. I have ugly feet and I would feel weird about someone tinkering with them. But, hell, who knows; at this rate, I may be getting body waxes in a few weeks.

Frrrriiiiiidaaaaayyyy!!!

Kelli and I are both off tomorrow. We are going to Lexington to see the Bare Naked Ladies in concert (Tony, is that you I hear gasping for air? ;-) and staying at the Hyatt there. I'm looking forward to it because it's our first road trip in a while, albeit only an hour away. I enjoy these times together because we always come up with something interesting to talk about, which makes me appreciate my wife that much more.

It's weekends like this which make me glad that it's only the two of us. I love children, but how could we do something like this on short notice if we had to take a little one into consideration? I know that spotaneity is one of the things you sacrifice with children, and I guess it makes me selfish to cherish more than my desire for offspring. But how many people are aware of this up front?

An Open Letter to Democrats

Dear Democrats,
Unless something completely unexpected happens between now and this summer, John F. Kerry is going to be your party's nominee for the Presidency. It's a smart move for several reasons: he (well, his wife, really) has more money than God, he's a decorated war hero, his initials are JFK, he has good hair and he's tall. And one more good thing about ole' John F-ing Kerry: he's two or three people rolled into one.

There's Hero Kerry. This is the Kerry you're seeing right now---the young man who spent four months on a Swift boat in the muddy rivers of Viet Nam while lesser men hid in Air National Guard units stateside. He understands war and foreign policy because, by God, he was there and has the Purple Hearts to prove it. If this was the only Kerry we (meaning conservatives) had to contend with, I'd be worried. But, of course, there's more fun on the other side of the fold.

Next is Anti-War Kerry. This Kerry lives in the closet right now, but everyone has at least heard of him. Anti-War Kerry threw his medals onto the White House lawn and hung out with Jane Fonda. Many people who vote today were children when all this was going on, so this may or may not work against him. Viet Nam veterans, though, know the score: Anti-War Kerry dishonored himself and his fellow veterans.

Finally, there is Senator Kerry. This should be the Kerry who is front and center, but he's not. Do you know why? Because he has the most liberal voting record of anyone in the Senate, and liberals don't get sent to the White House unless they convince Americans that they are not liberals at all (in other words, unless they are liars). This is the Kerry you Dems should be worried about, because all of his actions are a matter of public record. This is the Kerry that we're going to lead around by the nose come fall.

Of course, none of this really matters to you guys. You would elect Osama Bin Laden with a Saddam Hussein chaser if you though they could beat G.W. But some of you, I know, have to be asking some tough questions right now. Let me make it easy for you: come on over to our side. We're the people who are serious about things like national security. And, say what you will, at least we know who our guy is. Ta ta.

Liberal Radio Network

Those asshats just don't get it. I'll give the whole venture about a year.

Big D -30

I'll be arriving in Dallas exactly one month from this moment. I am both excited and leary, for I feel a real disconnect between myself and my family there. I shouldn't be suprised, for I haven't been down there in a year. But I am, despite the distance.

Some of you may not know this, but I lived in Dallas for two years in the mid-'90's. It was the one of the best and worst times of my life. It made as much of an impression on me as anything else had up to that point, and the effects echo in me to this day. It wasn't the place or my job or the times that made this time so magical; it was the people under those circumstances. There will never be a "thing" like we were ever, ever again. I wrote an entire book about those times, but I never could catch the feeling.

Every time I visit there now, a little piece of what was is gone. The city itself is different, growing by leaps and bounds. What was once country is now over-priced housing. The people are different, too; we are all older, wiser in some aspects, more into our careers or families. People have drifted apart, so much so that it is hard to get everyone in one place now. I have said before that I have this unreal expectation that it is still 1996 when I am there. But hell, would I like the me that was there then?

Soon, before any of us realizes it, what was special about Dallas, for me at least, will be gone. No one is destroying it; time is doing that for us. The unity, the loyalty and, in some cases, the friendship, is being driven away by the wind. Soon, there may not be anything left. But God, somedays, like today, I need it to be there. I need it now like I needed it then. I took it for granted for so long.

Superman

I'm Employee of the Month for March. Please don't congratulate me; it's more about who you smile at than what kind of job you do. My ace in the hole, as it were, is that I worked for so long at night---I was a weird mystery man. When I came to days, I enjoyed this week-long bout of near-celebrity status. It was during that time that the decision was taken. Right place, right time. Oh, and they needed another man on the list.

The problem seems to be that there are many people in the company who take this kind of thing VERY seriously. I was congratulated heartily by a few, but a few more had almost hateful comments, as if my work was invalid because no one was there to know whether I worked hard or not. Is it really that important? I guess I don't deserve it because I find it a bit of a joke and somewhat embarrassing.

I am reminded of a James Coburn movie, "The Iron Cross." Coburn plays this German corporal (former officer) whose commanding officer (a major, I think) wants to be awarded the Iron Cross, an award for bravery in the German Army. This Major is discussing his desire for the Cross with an older officer. The old man says, "You vant an Iron Cross, eh? Here...I'll geeve you one ov mine." The Major gets this look of disgust on his face, as if this old Wermarcht officer had taken the wind out of his one desire in life. It just wasn't that important to the old man.

Anyway, it's neither here nor there, really; it's just interesting to see how people react to something sooo trivial and, ultimately, meaningless.