PAGES: 9 (It's Friday)
I just rememebered that I promised you a Top List every Friday night/Saturday morning. I have to say that I'm not very prepared, so I'm going to do the antithesis of my last list. Thus, here are my Top 5 Least Favorite Movies (seen in a movie theater), in no particular order.
1. GI Jane-Demi Moore, SEAL. No freakin' way. The only, only reason I didn't leave this film after the first 12 minutes was because we were there with my in-laws, who seemed to be enjoying it. The final straw? The scene where she is talking to her Command Master Chief on the USS Michigan, a ballistic missle sub. As they talk, the make right, then left, then right, then left turns through SQUARE doors as if the boat was the size of an aircraft carrier. NOTE: Don't take me to a Navy movie if you want to enjoy it.
2. The Unforgiven-This piece of crap actually starred some of the best actors in Hollywood: Gene Hackman (a favorite of mine), Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman. But, really, did they have to spend the movie fighting to save a whorehouse? And, to add insult to injury, it won NINE Oscars. Sheesh. I still remember the Courier-Journal's review: "This film is refreshingly free of race and gender stereotypes." It was also free of much of a plot, but the PC police let that ride, I guess.
3. The Godfather Part III-I hated this film because it was so sub-par when compared to it predecessors. Sofia Coppola's acting is soooo bad in this film that (and I'll swear to this) I almost stood up and cheered when she died. I know; I'm an ass. But a plot to kill the Pope unmasked by Michael Corleone? Really? This is how it ends? Did I miss something?
4. I Come in Peace -You haven't seen this movie. It starred Dolph Lundgren as a Houston cop on the trail of, get this, intergalactic drug smugglers. What's the drug? Something produced by the human brain, of course. You can imagine what's next. Anyway, this movie did have one redeeming line: "I came here to do two things---chew bubble gum and kick some ass. I'm all out of bubble gum."
5. The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh-A tale about a jinxed fictional Pittsburgh NBA team who hire an astrologer to help them win. I saw this film in 1979, when I was 8. It was so bad that I can still watch it in my mind to this day. It starred many NBA stars of the day, men who are not known, generally, for being Laurence Olivier on the screen. Example: Shaq O'Neille.
Damn, I could do this all night.
Posted by Matthew at November 22, 2003 01:45 AMOh boy. Unforgiven in your top 5 least favs? But what a great build up it had for Munny's revenge.
Posted by: Erik at November 22, 2003 08:11 PMWhat about the other good line: "I come in peace" " And you go in pieces".
About as bad as his "The Punisher" movie.
I forgot about the "go in pieces" line!!! I guess this means that you saw it?
Posted by: Matt at November 22, 2003 11:21 PM